The Dalai Lamar: How Kendrick became my idol and ruined my life

I wrote this as a sample piece for a magazine I was applying to and I totally missed the mark. My usual low-key-joke-filled stile was not appropriate for this publication in particular, I realized after I sent it. Luckily, I convinced them to let me write another one and this time I’ll adapt to their tone and get that spot in their staff, but that’s neither here nor there. The thing is, I finally have a new text to share with you, my non-existent audience.

The funny thing about it is that the last few paragraphs don’t really represent how I feel, I just saw the opportunity for comedy and went with it to the bitter end. I couldn’t care less that Kendrick is a millenial, an artist is an artist is an artist.

I hope you all enjoy it, people of the world: Continue reading

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Darth Jar Jar: the joke would had been on us

Are you familiar with the Jar-Jar-Binks-was-going-to-be-a-Sith-Lord theory?

After watching the video above, as far as I’m concerned it’s case closed: Jar Jar WAS The Phantom Menace. And the intense hate that the character generated in the public’s eye was such that George Lucas didn’t have the guts to follow trough with his vision and changed the whole thing. Diluted the whole thing. Another case of marketing studies destroying a work of art.

I remember how excited I was for a new Star Wars and the level of disappointment I left the theater with after that first prequel. And Jar Jar was a big part of it. This movies are for kids, I thought, as opposed to the for-the-whole-family affair that the original trilogy was. Looking back, admittedly from a vantage point, I can’t help but think that a Darth Jar Jar would have made everything worthwhile. Even the horrible CGI effects, the pod racing, and Hayden Christensen talking about sand. A reveal so huge that it would have shaken the planet out of its axis.

Nowadays they’re the butt of all the jokes, but the reputation of those three movies would be another thing entirely if you all haven’t broken George Lucas.  It would have been beautiful. The joke would had been on us.

 

“In 2016 I enjoyed”, my music list to close off the period

I would love to justify my lateness alleging that I was waiting for the new Run The Jewels to drop, but actually I just couldn’t find the necessary silence to finish this beauty until today. Or the will. This December in Venezuela was odd and noisy, even with fireworks out of everybody’s price range.

Anyway, back to the topic at hand… without further ado and starting at the top:

Continue reading